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Potion (Feat. Default)

from Calm & Sense by Jordan Fox

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about

Jordan: I love the sequencing on this album so much. We go from Center of Attention, which focuses on other people, then to this song, called "Potion". This details my own experiences using drugs and alcohol to get away from the stress or shit I didn't want to deal with in my life. I was bad, man. I was smoking probably a good half pack of cigarettes a day, drinking and smoking weed whenever I got the chance or the money. I was lucky I had some cool managers at this fast food joint I worked at, or I would've starved buying Malibu instead of food. If I wasn't at work, I was drunk, high, angry, or a combination of those. I wasn't smart, and I didn't even think half the time. Real belligerent, and I would've fought anybody who wanted some. And to top it all off, Aaron and I were practically living with his girlfriend at the time, and were surrounded by some bad drug problems (which thank God none of us got into the hard stuff). I'm so grateful that shit is over and behind me, or I'd probably be dead by now.

Default: This song was my opportunity to vent. A couple years ago me and Jordan were in a terrible place. We weren't handling shit in our personal lives well at all and some evil shit from our psyches crept out and changed our lives forever. Stuck at a low point barely having money for food and being around a dangerous crowd the one thing that sticks with me is the imagery. The razor-blades by the toilet, the small TV playing an old Punk Rock flick, the houses we were staying in always dirty and filled with kids crying. It's a dark time in my life and that's reflected a lot in my lyrics. We both looked like zombies and we just tried staying distracted long enough to not deal with the demons right behind us. It was fucked up but it made for my favorite cut on the album. A lot of shit from those days still haunt me but it made me who I am.

lyrics

[Verse One: Jordan Fox]
Her mama comin' in through the back door,
guess I gotta focus right now.
Light bulb broke in the bath tub,
guess you gotta smoke it somehow.
Kids be crying in the front room,
daddy out about on the town.
And ain't nobody got the money for the food,
gotta hope they come down.
Cause we bought vodka and rum,
When the problem comes,
then we got, gotta run,
it is not for the fun.
Bottle every night, don't stop til it's done,
Aaron, take the track back to the top of the drums.
Kick it every night, and we act a fool.
Living life, doing what we have to do.
Always on gas or the Malibu,
Talk smack, Cherry Ave. coming after you.

[Verse Two: Default]
I walk through the streets a zombie Nikes on me
With nothing but the sound of steps of dry concrete
Might say fuck it relax and sip potion
Sins of the father just maybe I've been chosen
Spliff toking we're in motion my ribs open
Coughing up a lung and I'm still choking
Skins back to where the ribs hit
And if we didn't have money for food then we would lift it
Dipshit, should've know that then
But hind sites twenty twenty when I hold that pen
Tryna make ends meet moms gone or dope sick
Carrying all that had us heavy and hopeless
My girl at the time she been cutting her own wrists
Winter of 1-4 I know nothing but coldness
Quick trip to the belly of beasts
Critique us and ya Mom's gon be heavy with grief

[Verse Three: Default]
They got Dad locked up on a repeat offense
Brought back to the struggle knee deep again
All of my affiliates seek peace in gin
Now they’re finally at ease t meet grief and grin
Cuz everyone’s broke but yo you know the deal
Tryna scrape up money for a soda and a meal
I’ve been so numb I don’t know if I can heal
Cuz fighting or fucking’s the only way I feel real
Runaways playing on a cracked cassette
Eyes sunk from the stress of my past regrets
Landlady knows when you cashing checks
Banging on the door tryna nab the debt
So, pass the wet, pills and blades to me
Sip brew just so I can feel a trace of heat
Polaroid flash in the frame I see
Just a hollowed-out shell of what I used to be

[Verse Four: Jordan Fox]
Smoking every god damn where,
And ready to catch fades if you buck or stare.
Test yo luck, better come prepared,
never duck, give a fuck if the public's there.
Dudes coming in through the window, three or fo',
never check a do', they already know the code.
If you ain't bringing dro or dough, then go home.
Don't be alone, I froze in that zone.
Swear to god, I'll be the last one sobered up.
I'm awake, I can tell you I ain't smoked enough.
Got the potion in a cobra clutch,
and I need it like it's coming from a folger cup.
Look up in the mirror and I lick a shot,
and I can't choose whether I should live or not,
cause the flaws and the fluid all I feel I got.
I said the flaws and the fluid all I feel I got.

credits

from Calm & Sense, released February 24, 2017
(J. Fox / A. Johns)
Produced by: swirl & Jordan Fox.
Mixed, Mastered & Arranged by: swirl & Jordan Fox.
Recorded at: Hudson Studio.

© Play Nice! Records (2017)

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about

Jordan Fox Arkansas City, Kansas

Creating music from a young age, Jordan spent years absorbing sounds across many genres and used it to build an impressive musical arsenal. Rapper, Singer, Writer, Guitarist, Keyboardist, etc. Fox moved quickly in the local music scene. From cyphers to alternative bands to hip hop groups and despite years of struggle and dead ends, the grind stays strong as does the music from the flatland titan. ... more

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